Heritage Minister James Moore made the announcement Monday alongside the prime minister’s wife, Laureen Harper.

Ottawa Counc. Allan Hubley, the father of Jamie Hubley, the 15-year-old who committed suicide in the fall of 2011, was also present at the announcement at A.Y. Jackson Secondary School in suburban Kanata.

“If we do nothing, it will lead to the death of children,” Moore told reporters and students Monday.

Harper said: “This is a cause that is near and dear to my heart, as well as my husband’s.”

Jamie Hubley was a figure skater and the only openly gay student at A.Y. Jackson. He had been bullied throughout his school years.

His father said Jamie suffered from depression. The politician has also advocated for more front-line services for bullied children since his son’s death.

“He just wanted someone to love him. That’s all,” Allan Hubley told CBC News in 2011. “And what’s wrong with that? Why do people have to be cruel to our children when all they want to do is be loved?”

Hubley’s death was part of the impetus for a new provincial bill that has become law. It provides tougher sanctions for bullies and protection for teens that want to set up gay-heterosexual alliances in their schools.

At the time, some groups denounced the bill as infringing on religious freedoms.

Jamie Hubley had tried to start an anti-discrimination Rainbow Club at his school, but his father said the posters were torn down, and he was called vicious names in the hallways and online.

CBC – National anti-bullying plan announced at late teen’s school

Vancouver, BC

Ten organizations have now been approved for funding for anti-bullying programs, including:

• Boys and Girls Clubs of South Coast BC: Anti-bullying programs for 12 neighbourhood-based clubs in the lower mainland
• Big Sisters of BC Lower Mainland: Go Girls! Healthy bodies, healthy minds program
• Big Brothers of Greater Vancouver: In school mentoring program
• Canadian Red Cross of BC: RespectED violence and abuse prevention program
• Crisis Intervention and Suicide Prevention: YouthInBC.com building capacity program
• Kids Help Phone: Professional counseling for youth at risk
• Kidsafe Project Society: Young leaders program
• Leave out Violence Society (LOVE BC): Anti-bullying work through leadership and violence prevention committees
• Vancouver Opera Association:  Stickboy, an opera for young audiences on the bullying cycle
• YMCA of Greater Vancouver: Alternative suspension program

The funds were raised from sales of Pink Shirt Day T-shirts through London Drugs and PinkShirtDay.ca, personal donations and corporate support including a large donation from presenting sponsor Coast Capital Savings.

The public service announcement for Pink Shirt Day 2013 can be viewed below or here.

An Instagram page slandering teen girls in the capital has been shut down following police involvement.

The page, 613gahbas, was deleted Wednesday. “Gahba” is Arabic slang for whore, slut, b—h, or prostitute.

Instagram is a social network and application for Apple and Android users and allows them to share photos.

The page featured dozens of photos of teens paired with vile captions.

“F—-d the whole team while she had a boyfriend…gahba,” reads an image obtained by QMI Agency.

“Biggest slut. Crooked teeth. Ugly as hell. She’s jelous (sp) of everyone. And did anal with alex…gahba,” reads another.

It’s unknown how many people are behind the page, which went viral last month.

Thanks to intrasexual competition “it is girls who typically suppress other girls,” said University of Ottawa professor Dr. Tracy Vaillancourt, Canada Research Chair in children’s mental health and violence prevention.

“My first impression was that it was going to be girls that were doing this and then my second thought was that it could also be perpetrated by boys or men who have a philosophical orientation that is more stifling of girls’ rights.”

Speaking of which, a stream of comments on Twitter using the same hashtag either support or denounce the page.

“The good girls didn’t end up on 613 gahbas, so if you’re on there then you either need to work on yourself or your image #straightup,” wrote one boy.

“Who ever made the 613gahbas page on Instagram. Have some respect and get a life!!! What if that was ur sister?,” wrote another.

More than 30% of teens in Canada are victims of bullying at school, according to Vaillancourt’s research, and among this group 10% experience daily bullying by students at their school, resulting in more than 425,000 students tormented each day.

Across city high schools, “I would say it’s reported several times a month,” Ottawa police Sgt. Norm Sandre said.

Last fall, eight girls in London, Ont., were arrested and charged with criminal harassment for targeting another student.

This was shortly after the death of Amanda Todd in British Columbia.

Todd took her own life following years of vicious bullying, first posting a YouTube video chronicling the abuse.

Vaillancourt said she applauds police for taking the page down.

Sun Media - Cyber-bullying 613-style gets shut down

Psychologists in Britain, Germany and the United States base their conclusions on an analysis of data from the Avon Longitudinal Study of Parents and Children (ALSPAC) which has followed the development of more than 6,000 mothers and children in south west England since pregnancy in the early 1990s.

After comparing the results of diagnostic interviews with the children when aged 11 with reports of bullying gathered when they were aged 8 and 10, they conclude that intentional harm inflicted by peers is a significant precursor of BPD symptoms – although it could be a “marker” for the increased level of risk, rather than a direct cause.

Dieter Wolke of Warwick University and his colleagues note that BPD is a chronic psychiatric condition estimated to affect between 0.7 per cent and 5.9 per cent of the adult population. Its characteristics include poor mood and impulse control, unstable and intense personal relationships, and severe difficulty trusting the actions or motives of others.

Threats, rumors and lies

Existing studies have linked BPD to childhood experiences of physical and sexual abuse, neglect and exposure to domestic violence. In addition, bullying or “peer victimization” in childhood has been associated with the emergence of psychotic symptoms and suicidal thoughts as well as adverse neurobiological changes in the brain.

This makes it all the more surprising that potential links with BPD have not been investigated before and that this study is, so far as the authors know, the first to use longitudinal data to explore the connection.

Wolke and his colleagues not only analyzed data collected from children in the ALSPAC survey, but also interviews with parents and teachers about victimization when the children were as young as 4. Information gathered on the children’s home life, well-being and IQ was taken into account to rule out other possible explanations for the link between bullying and BPD symptoms, including sexual abuse and harsh, maladaptive parenting.

The association between BPD and different types of bullying was investigated by making a distinction between “overt victimization” where victims are physically hurt or threatened and “relational victimization” involving exclusion from play by peers or the circulation of rumors and lies. The researchers also examined “dosage”, considering whether bullying was reportedly chronic or severe.

Pinpointing lessons for prevention

The results showed that any experience of peer bullying in primary (elementary) school was significantly linked to the emergence of BPD symptoms in children under 12. This association was strong and remained so even after controlling the data for other, potentially “confounding”, explanations.

The study also found that the risk of developing symptoms increased among children who had experienced chronic bullying or a combination of “overt” and “relational” victimization. For children who said they were victims of both types of bullying the odds of BPD symptoms were increased seven times compared with children who were not bullied. For children who reported being bullied at age 8 and again at age 10, the odds 5.5 times greater than for those who had never been victimized.

Turning to potential explanations, the researchers highlight the capacity for bullying to work its way “under the skin” of its victims, both psychologically and functionally. However, they also recognize that children who get bullied tend to have fewer friends anyway and are often more withdrawn, physically weaker, and more easily upset than their peers. Their victimization could, consequently, be a “marker” within a developmental risk factor model for BPD, rather than an actual cause.

The development of BPD, as with other mental health disorders, is a complex matter. It is not, however, difficult to see why this latest study – soundly based in data from a major longitudinal study – holds important implications for prevention.

At a universal “whole school” level, it underlines the value of applying structured, evidence-based strategies that prevent victimization and facilitate swift and effective action when bullying occurs. But it also points to the need for clinicians working with children who already exhibit significant mental health problems to be alert to the links between BPD and bullying by peers.

As the authors of the new study suggest, professionals in child and adolescent mental health should be routinely asking children and young people about victimization – and be properly trained to deal with the answers.

*********

Reference:
Wolke, D., Schreier, A., Zanarini, M. C., & Winsper, C. (2012). Bullied by peers in childhood and borderline personality symptoms at 11 years of age: A prospective study. Journal of Child Psychology and Psychiatry, 53(8), pp 846-855.

Prevention Action - Bullying and borderline personality disorder: a missing link

Peel police Deputy Chief Dan McDonald told reporters that although final numbers are still being tallied, the number of those victimized by cyber-bullying last year and in early 2013 has skyrocketed.

“The numbers are increasing because everybody has a device nowadays and it’s causing the numbers to go up,” he said. “People need to stop and think about what they’re doing before sending a message.”

Today at police headquarters, officers announced a new cyber-bullying initiative that will kick off this year at four schools in Mississauga and Brampton.

The project is being offered thanks, in large part, to a $50,000 grant from Ontario’s Ministry of Community Safety and Correctional Services.

The project includes lesson plans being introduced into the school curriculum regarding cyber-bullying and a poster/video project asking students to produce each as part of a contest.
School board officials will be asking students to create a media product that addresses the following: What if everyone did something to stop cyber-bullying, while creating a respectful, positive environment.

Dufferin-Peel Catholic District School Board education director John Kostoff said bullying isn’t a new problem facing schools.

“But cyber-bullying is particularly insidious. It multiplies itself. It’s relentless,” he said. “It follows the student on the street, on the bus and into their home.”

McDonald said too often teens think posting insulting messages on Facebook or sending ridiculing text messages is “some kind of light-hearted joke.”

But, he said, it’s not to those being victimized.

McDonald added those who cyber-bully face charges that could include mischief or criminal harassment.

However, he added the force’s goal is to avoid situations getting to that stage.

“We hope that police are the last ones getting involved,” he said.

Last December, Peel police charged a 13-year-old Mississauga boy for posting a video to Facebook of a girl being beaten up by another girl. The case is before the courts.

Peel District School Board education director Tony Pontes said it’s time students and parents take “digital responsibility” for their actions.

An Ipsos Reid survey of more than 400 Canadian teens last year shows one in five have witnessed online bullying, while 25 per cent of kids between 12-15 have witnessed cyber-bullying.

The survey also revealed 25 per cent of girls and 17 per cent of boys have witnessed online harassment.

Mississauga News - Cyber-bullying out of control in Peel, say police

Digital Journal - Iowa teen sues school over bullying

Publishing houses are flooding the market with titles that tackle bullying. The books are aimed at all age groups: Bully is a picture book for elementary-grade students, The Bully Book is for middle-school children, and Sticks and Stones by Emily Bazelon is a recent release for adults that includes both stories and analysis. According to World Cat, a catalog of library collections, the number of English-language books tagged with the key word “bullying” in 2012 was 1,891, an increase of 500 in a decade.

There are even more to come, said Elizabeth Bird, who tracks coming books and trends for youth collections at the New York Public Library. “Bullying has always been a popular topic,” she said, “ but this year we are seeing bullying titles coming out as never before, and there is no end in sight.”

The publishing world’s preoccupation with bullies doesn’t end on the bookshelf. Several publishing houses have started anti-bullying campaigns built around their books. Authors have taken action on their own as well. Two young-adult authors, Megan Kelley Hall and Carrie Jones, assembled an anthology of personal essays, called Dear Bully: 70 Authors Tell Their Stories, by prominent writers such as R.L. Stine, with a portion of the proceeds going to charity.

Hall and Jones also started a Facebook page called Young Adult Authors Against Bullying that identifies cruel Facebook pages and lobbies to have them taken down.

Bullying has become such a common topic for authors that in October there will be a conference in Missouri for authors of books on the subject.

For publishers and authors, they can promote a cause that most people avidly support while promoting their own products.

“The intention is service to help the teachers and librarians who are looking for resources,” said Michelle Fadlalla, director of education and library marketing for Simon & Schuster, which published The Misfits in 2003 and this year Justin and the Bully by former Indianapolis Colts coach Tony Dungy. “At the same time, it is definitely an opportunity for us to gather sales because it is such a hot topic.”

A case in point is Wonder by R.J. Palacio, a book about a boy with facial deformities that came out last year and is No.?1 on The New York Times children’s middle-grade best-seller list, with more than 350,000 copies. Although it was not written as an anti-bullying book, many teachers and librarians began assigning it that way to students.

Marketing opportunities don’t completely explain the boom in the number of titles, however. Heather Brewer, author of The Chronicles of Vladimir Tod vampire series, about being an outsider, said bullying strikes a common chord with many authors.

“There is a certain personality to being a writer, a quirky introverted type maybe not as socially adept, and they tend to be picked on a little bit more than others,” she said.

Brewer is organizing the anti-bullying writers’ conference in the fall in part because she was a victim herself when she was growing up in Columbiaville, Mich. “I would have books knocked out of my hand,” she said. “I would be pinched and shoved. So letting people know about the dangers of bullying is important to me.”

Several books now include the perspective of not just the victim but also of the bully, bystanders and even the adults who enable or ignore the behavior. “There is a nuanced approach,” said Gillian Engberg, an editor at Booklist magazine. “We are seeing more and more of these books that take on all of these perspectives.”

The Columbus Dispatch – Bullying becomes profitable topic for publishers

A new study has shown that being bullied can scar a child for life.

I find the idea of a child being victimised, insulted, embarrassed, even physically abused by other children, very painful indeed. It’s inhuman and it’s cruel and bullies must be brought to book.

The only way bullies can be stopped is by parental intervention, which alerts teachers, or even better, the headteacher concerned.

If there’s no proper response from them it’s a parent’s responsibility, no, it’s their right, to get in touch with a member of the school’s board of governors.

In fact, the effects of bullying are so destructive that no parent should shy away from using any weapon they can, including contacting their GP and their MP.

I’ve always felt strongly about this but now in the light of new evidence, I feel evangelical, in trying to give parents the support they need to put a stop to bullying.

Yes, bullying is vicious and injurious at the time but who could have known the full force of its long-term effects?

The new study reveals that the victims of school bullies carry the scars into adulthood and those scars seriously affect their lives for years if not for ever.

These people can be subject to depression, all manner of anxiety complaints, or even driven to contemplate suicide.

The study shows that children who are bullied don’t get over it. They don’t outgrow it and they don’t forget it.

This study from America, which looked at more than 1,200 children over 20 years, is the longest and most thorough that’s ever been carried out into the effects of bullying.

These children, who were studied from the age of nine until they were adults, show how common bullying is.

One in four reported being bullied at least once with boys and girls being equally affected. Those who said they’d been bullied had higher levels of anxiety and depressive disorders as adults.

What surprised me was that bullies suffer these long-term psychological effects, too. Bullying is bad for the bullies as well as their victims.

Those who were both victims and bullies had the highest levels of suicidal thoughts, depressive disorders, generalised anxiety and suffered panic attacks.

Bullies also had a tendency to antisocial personality disorder.

I’ve always thought that bullies are very disturbed and needy individuals.

We have to put a stop to bullying for the sake of bullies as well as their victims.

The Mirror - Why you must stop bullying to avoid long term harm – to the bully and the victim

Bullying sounds too much like hectoring or bossing; not admirable, but not heinous either, at least inside the boys-will-be-boys culture.

Growing up, I witnessed lots of what we now define as bullying in the downscale urban schools and neighborhood of my Rockford, Ill., youth. Racial and ethnic diversity fueled constant tensions.

At school, there were the restroom strong-armings in the form of repeated “requests” for never-repaid loans of 25 cents or 50 cents. There was the singling out of victims in gym class for emotional and physical abuse, typically the smallish, skinny, bespectacled kids. And there was the whole separate category of bullying aimed at boys who seemed at all effeminate, or girls deemed insufficiently feminine in appearance or demeanor. Shamefully, most of us did too little.

Those memories linger.

So I was a bit surprised that researchers were surprised by findings from their recent study: after-effects of childhood bullying stay with those who encountered it in the form of higher risk of psychological disorders in adulthood. “To be honest, I was completely surprised by the strength of the findings,” lead author William Copeland, a Duke University psychiatry professor, told Slate.com.

His was a huge study. Researchers interviewed 1,400 children between the ages of nine and 16 years about their social lives and reconnected with them when they were between 19 and 26 years old.

The victims of bullying were four times more likely to have emotional disorders as adults than were others, while those who had been bullies and those who had been both — bully and victim — saw similar or worse long-term impacts.

Slate.com senior editor Emily Bazelon, whose new book on the subject is titled “Sticks and Stones,” writes that the Duke study reinforces much previous research showing that “bullying increases the risk for many problems, including low academic performance in school and depression (for both bullies and victims) and criminal activity later in life” among bullies.

Heck, the topic of bullying even made the front page of the Wisconsin State Journal last week when a Republican state legislator from Green Bay called for fining teachers and school employees $200 for failing to report bullying. (That “solution” reminded me of a GOP national convention keynote speech I witnessed in 1984 when the late Jeane Kirkpatrick proclaimed that, on foreign affairs, Democrats always blamed America first. In 2013, Wisconsin Republicans always blame public school teachers first.)

Kathy Halley, a psychologist for the Madison School District, tells me her past experiences with adult clients reinforce the Duke findings: “I was really surprised by the number of clients that I have in therapy who went back to their middle school years and talked about bullying,” she says. “You wouldn’t think that it would have that kind of impact on people, but it does stick.”

Bullying is generally defined as aggressive behavior that is repeated and involves unequal relationships, whether in physical size and strength or some other way. “I think there is definitely a change from sort of trying to differentiate bullying from aggression more generally,” says Amy Belmore, an assistant professor of educational psychology at UW-Madison and an expert on inter-ethnic peer relationships.

Belmore, in our conversation, says many national studies make clear that bullying is especially prevalent when the tally includes witnesses to it. “National studies suggest that numbers as high as 70 percent have experienced bullying at some point in their school career, but that is really misleading. Really it’s a few kids that experience it frequently.

“However, ‘experience’ is sort of an interesting word. So what we know is that a lot of kids are witnesses to it, and there is evidence that just even being a witness to it, just seeing it happen, also has negative effects on kids,” Belmore says.

What about the numbers in Madison’s schools? District social worker Mara McGlynn provided numbers from the last full school year:

* There were 523 official complaints from a total student population of 24,861.

* 71 percent came from middle schools.

* 85 percent were about non-physical bullying (verbal, spreading rumors, etc.).

* Most prevalent were incidents based on appearance; second was sexual orientation; third was race.

The Madison district has an explicit anti-bullying policy and all students from pre-kindergarten to 8th-grade take the “Second Step” program, which focuses on social and emotional learning and has specific lessons around anti-bullying, says Nancy Yoder, the district’s executive director of student services.

“That’s where kids learn that it’s not OK to bully,” says Yoder. “They also learn the important skills of how to take care of yourself if you witness bullying or if you’re the target of bullying behavior. So, self-advocacy skills, (and) having the tools that you need. You can walk away and report (bullying), you don’t have to stand there and be a victim. The importance of kids knowing that it’s not tattling if you go to an adult to report, reporting is different than tattling.”

Yoder adds: “I think one of the things that we know about our Madison data (is that) our biggest reason for bullying is around appearance. That includes race. We have a perceived sexual orientation, there’s a fair amount of bullying that happens around gender, (and) certainly race, but that’s certainly not the only thing.”

She adds that training for adults is important: “I think a huge frustration for children is if they go to somebody and say that something has happened to them and adults minimize it and say, ‘That’s kids being kids or boys being boys. You should be able to handle this.’ That’s not what kids need.”

It’s heartening that attention to bullying seems to have has steadily grown since the 1999 Columbine High School massacre in Colorado, where two students killed 12 other students and a teacher before committing suicide. That ignited a debate about whether the two shooters had been bullied. Turns out they were bullies themselves, but it got the conversation going.

Some readers, I suspect, may be thinking that adults are going overboard in intervening. Author Bazelon describes that view: “We risk raising kids who don’t know how to solve problems on their own, withstand adversity or bounce back from the harsh trials life inevitably brings.”

That’s eloquent, but I can’t help but think that many of those quick to dismiss bullying have never seen it.

The Cap Times - Paul Fanlund: The idea that bullying causes lasting harm gains credence

That kind of bullying continues today, and is joined by more subtle siblings that victimize many, and often without knowledge of those in positions to stop it.

Miss Northeast Counties Mikaela Carson knows this first hand. The Overland Park, Kan., resident said she was on the receiving end of social bullying throughout school. Good family support, she said, helped her through it, but when a family friend committed suicide as a result of bullying, she began to understand how widespread and deep the problem was.

“I realized how many people go through these things day, after day, after day,” she said.

Carson participated March 17 in the Kirksville, Mo., St. Patrick’s Day Parade and distributed material on ABLE — or Anti-Bullying Lifelines and Education — a grassroots effort she established to bring attention to bullying in its various forms and empower people to stop those behaviors.

“I want to empower young adults to not just say they won’t be a bully, but understand when you see someone being victimized there is a moral obligation to help them,” Carson said. “If you were in that situation, you’d want someone to help you.

“I really felt very strongly with my personal stake in this. It would ultimately be my goal that no one would have to experience the things that made my friend choose that way out.”

Carson has presented at schools across Kansas and Missouri, working to educate youth on forms of bullying and related impacts. She closes each session by asking the students to sign an anti-bullying pledge in which they commit to be a “lifeline” to those in need.

“We hold to the belief that every individual has the right to live without fear of intimidation, slander or isolation regardless of their race, gender, religion, social standing, physical characteristics, sexual orientation or any personal traits or choices. We believe that we are indeed ABLE to make a difference and pledge to do our best in this endeavor,” the pledge reads in part.

One student is invited to step forward at each presentation’s close, to “get the ball rolling” and be first to sign the pledge. Carson recalled one such instance when a boy known as popular, athletic, and a bully, was the student who stepped up.

“For him to come forward and say, I know I’ve been doing this, I know this is wrong and I want to change my behavior now,’ that’s one of the most promising things I have seen,” Carson said. “I really hope that him taking a stand would inspire others to do the same.”

According to pacer.org, a product of the National Bullying Prevention Center, nearly one-third of all school-aged children are bullied each year in the United States, and 64 percent of those 13 million victims do not report the incidents.

One of Carson’s top goals is to bring attention to social bullying, which she described as common among teenage girls. It often comes in forms like gossiping, spreading rumors, even hazing, with a group of people intentionally isolating another. In its most subtle forms, snickering while a person passes in the hall, or rolling eyes when looking in their direction, can all be bullying in this form.

“It’s not necessarily physical contact, or name calling, but when you ignore or deny a person’s existence,” Carson said. “It can actually be more detrimental to self esteem than traditional forms of bullying.”

Verbal and cyber bullying are other forms Carson notes, and said one of the most important things families can do to combat each of them is making it part of the conversation.

“The worst thing is silence,” she said. “Silence is what allows these things to continue.”

Carson is a nonprofit administration major at Lindenwood University. Her organization is online atwww.able-antibullying.org and she can be emailed at mikaela.carson(at)yahoo.com.

Christian Science Monitor - What is a bully? Pageant winner shares her personal story on school tour

His mother is worried about the emotional scars and is demanding the school protect her son from bullies.

Cactus Canyon Junior High School seventh-grader Reinhard Zorko, 13, has missed school the last couple of days. Instead, he’s hanging at his father’s auto shop because he’s afraid to go back.

“It’s hard to be bullied and it hurts,” said Reinhard.

Reinhard says the bullying started in February. He finally told the school psychologist he was being hurt on the school bus.

“Cause I got tired of it,” he said.

Reinhard says a couple of high school boys used a lighter to heat up the eraser part of the pencil to burn him. It’s an act district officials haven’t even heard of kids doing until now.

An Apache Junction Unified School District representative said there are cameras on the bus and drivers have a list of kids who are allowed to ride. The alleged bullies were on that list, even though the mother initially said they weren’t.

“Shocked, I was appalled someone in high school was actually harming my son who’s in junior high on the bus and that there wasn’t safer transportation being provided for our children,” said Pamela Zorko.

She called the police and the school about the situation. They started investigating. But even after all that, Reinhard says he was beaten up again on Monday after school for tattling.

He says it happened after he got off the bus.

“We want our students to feel safe on our campuses. Can we say with 100 percent certainty that we’re going to be able to do that? No,” said Rep. Brian Kilgore. He said three students were disciplined. The punishment for bullying can be anywhere from detention to expulsion.

Apache Junction Police Department’s Tom Kelly said they handed over the case to the Pinal County Attorney’s Office.

A representative from the office said charges were still under review.

CBS 5 – KPHO

CBS KPHO – AZ student burned by bullies, beaten for tattling

The city woke up to detailed revelations in The Register Citizen about a coach who tolerated violent behavior and a school district whose policies were vague and not enforced and gave the benefit of the doubt to students who’d been charged with serious crimes but also happened to be key to scoring a lot of touchdowns.

Worst of all, and what will cause an ugly statewide, perhaps national, spotlight to shine on Torrington in the coming days, the newspaper uncovered dozens of Torrington High School athletes and students, male and female, bullying the 13-year-old victim of an alleged sexual assault by two 18-year-old football players.

They called her “whore,” “snitch,” blamed her for “ruining the lives” of the players. They harassed and bullied students who dared defend her.

Assuming they were unaware of these social media posts (and no doubt, similar conversations in school classrooms and hallways), we expect the stance and leadership of Athletic Director Mike McKenna and Superintendent Cheryl Kloczko to change dramatically.

McKenna said, “If you think there’s some wild band of athletes that are wandering around then I think you’re mistaken.”

Well actually, there was a hazing scandal the school district still hasn’t explained, the MVP of the team was allowed to play all of last season despite pending felony robbery and assault charges which also involved another football player, and then the latest incident of a sexual assault arrest of two players. McKenna says he didn’t even know about the felony robbery and assault charges or that the coach knew about them and still allowed his MVP to play. So maybe the athletic director isn’t even qualified to insist that there’s not a “wild band of athletes” causing trouble all over town.

In fact, the behavior of athletes does appear to be out of control and unacceptable.

And the suggestion that it’s a “few bad apples” and not a deeper cultural problem in the school district is obliterated by the Twitter and Facebook messages of dozens of Torrington High School students.

The first step in recovering from this is admitting you have a problem. And after reading the social media accounts of average, “good” students at Torrington High School, it’s clear that Torrington students need an urgent education about blaming the victim, bullying and harassment, what “consent” means, why statutory rape is rape, period, and where football should stand in relation to their education and the rest of life.

According to recent data, adult bullying is on the rise: In a 2012 survey of workers, 65 percent of American participants reported being bullied at their jobs, and adult bullying also happens online and among social circles as well.

Recently several friends confided in me about their own experiences with bullying, and having been on the receiving end myself a time or two, I could relate. Although the circumstances were different in all of our situations, we all felt the same way when it happened: helpless.

But we realized that even though we couldn’t control the bullies’ actions, we could control the way we reacted. I’ve found that the below three tactics can help you rise above the situation and come out unscathed. If you find you’ve fallen victim to this common problem, try these tips to help you maintain your cool and take control:

1. Don’t feed the beast. According to anti-bullying expert Joel Haber, Ph.D., what bullies want is support from peers, friends, and family. There have to be two sides in order for people to take one. So if a bully tries to instigate an exchange of any kind, don’t take the bait.

2. Know yourself. What someone else says about you doesn’t make it true. Not too long ago someone in my neighborhood said something about me that wasn’t very nice, and on top of that, it was completely untrue. It was so far-fetched that when I found out about it, I laughed out loud. Anyone who would believe such nonsense without bothering to ask me whether it was true isn’t anyone I’d want to be friends with anyway. My opinion of myself is the only one that really matters to me.

3. Give it time. When a bully lashes out, it isn’t a reflection of the person they’re picking on—it’s a reflection on them. In time, people will see the bully for who they are. Until then, just go about your business as usual. That way, people will see you for who you really are too: someone who doesn’t take any crap because she knows how to rise above it.

Shape Magazine - 3 Ways to Smack Down a Grown-Up Bully

Worded as a largely boilerplate protection of “a safe and inclusive learning environment,” Bill 18 drew little attention at first. But it has become a flashpoint. Opponents say the bill threatens religious freedom by broadly defining bullying and protecting gay-straight alliances (GSAs) but not mentioning faith groups.

The backlash is most acute in Steinbach, a small city of about 13,500 people southeast of Winnipeg. It’s there that the local MP – cabinet minister Vic Toews – has joined the local MLA and religious leaders in speaking out against Bill 18.

And it’s Evan’s home.

The 16-year-old is trying to start a GSA at the public Steinbach Regional Secondary School, where he’s the only student who has come out as gay. He’s become the face of Bill 18 in the city where it’s most strongly opposed. And it’s not easy.

During Evan’s interviews, with cameras rolling, other students shout slurs at him. He shrugs it off as best he can, saying he’s fighting for those who feel they can’t speak out.

“They should not have to feel ashamed, and they should not have to feel like they have to hide themselves,” said the 16-year-old, who was shy, at first, about his fight. “But then I thought about it, and I thought if a church is allowed to vocally oppose a bill, what’s so bad about me standing up for my rights?”

He has many opponents. In a sermon last month, Steinbach pastor Ray Duerksen of the prominent Southland Church called Bill 18 “the biggest challenge the Canadian church has ever faced.” He opposes bullying of any child, but argues the bill protects gay kids more than religious ones.

“It’s going to be the beginning of an incremental attempt to destroy the Christian church. That’s what’s taking place. That’s the agenda behind the scene,” he said in the sermon, likening same-sex intercourse to adultery, bestiality and pedophilia. A local Christian high school held an information and prayer session on Bill 18 later that night.

Mr. Toews, a lawyer, said in a recent letter to constituents he believes Bill 18 represents an “unconstitutional infringement upon the freedom of religion.” Through staff, he declined an interview.

Specifically, critics say the bill defines bullying very loosely and offers no clear punishments in the guidelines. “The issue we have here is how do we get a bill that protects all kids?” said Kelvin Goertzen, the local Progressive Conservative MLA. Bill 18 has “gotten more attention than any bill I can remember,” he said.

The bill allows schools to respond to bullying that takes place after-hours, including text messages and social media, while GSAs – clubs for all kids who support lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgendered rights – would be specifically permitted.

“The sad reality is homophobic discrimination is still an accepted form of discrimination in some circles. And Bill 18 is the best way to support some of our students,” Education Minister Nancy Allan said, adding: “This is about safe schools, young people reaching their potential.” She spoke to Evan earlier this month, congratulating him. “He is just remarkable,” she said.

Manitoba’s education system is the latest in Canada to find itself weighing religious and gay rights. GSAs saw the Toronto Catholic District School Board square off with the Ontario government. A Catholic high school in Whitehorse was under fire this month for saying homosexuality is immoral. Alberta passed a law four years ago allowing parents to pull children from any class in which sexual orientation would be discussed.

Randy Dueck, the superintendent overseeing Evan’s school, said current policy already allows for GSAs, and Bill 18 wouldn’t change that. But Evan said current rules ban him from putting up any posters as church groups do.“They already have all the freedoms. I’m just trying to put up a poster,” he said.

He laughs when asked about the big names opposing him, saying it’s empowering. “People never expect a youth to challenge the government, or challenge what your local MLA’s stance is on something,” he said. He has a simple message for bullied teens.

“I’ve gone through a lot of hard times, but I’ve grown as a person. I want them to know that it’s not a bad thing to be yourself, and you don’t have to be ashamed to walk down the hallway and say, ‘Hey, this is who I am.’ ”

Globe & Mail - Gay teen holds the line for Manitoba bullying bill

After Facebook, Twitter was the next most frequent face for bullying – or trolling – to take place, according to the study of more than 2,000 teenagers by Opinium Research.

The study revealed that 85 percent of 19-year-old men had experienced some form of online bullying.

Of those who admitted they had been bullied, 87 per cent said it had happened on Facebook, 19 percent on Twitter and 13 percent on BlackBerry Messenger.

Of all the teenagers who said they had been bullied, only 37 percent had reported it to the social network where it took place.

Only 17 percent said that their first reaction would be to tell their parents, and just 1 per cent said it would be to tell their teacher.

The study was carried out for knowthenet.Org.Uk, a free online site offering advice on how to stay safe online.

Media psychologist Arthur Cassidy said online bullying could have a “massive impact” on older male teenagers.

“Suicide rates are particularly high amongst this demographic, so it’s worrying to hear that teenagers on the whole are choosing to deal with internet abuse themselves rather than speaking to parents or teachers for help,” he said.

“Whilst some might expect girls to be more vulnerable online, this study shows that older boys are more at risk from trolling and cyber-bullying,” he said.

“Many boys feel under pressure to demonstrate their bravado, particularly on the web, but this attitude and male deficiency in coping strategies can make them more vulnerable and open to trolling,” he said.

“There is no place for harassment on Facebook, but unfortunately a small minority of malicious individuals exist online, just as they do offline,” a Facebook spokesman was quoted as saying by the paper.

“We have a real name policy and provide people with simple tools to block people or report content which they find threatening so that we can remove it quickly,” the spokesman said.

ZeeNews - 19-year-old biggest victims of online bullying: Study

Within parent councils and in exchanges between parents and teachers and administrators and parents, people in the education system are noting an increasing level of hostility — and bullying.

“I just think the way that society is set up right now… everybody is in everyone’s face,” said Judith Cameron, president of the Manitoba Association of Parent Councils (MAPC). “It’s just this adversarial kind of tone to conversations. And, of course, everyone is right.”

She said she knows of instances where parents have bullied parents; parents have bullied teachers and administrators; and teachers and administrators have targeted parents.

Often, children witness these exchanges between adults and replicate the bullying behaviour, said Cameron, who has raised the issue of adult bullying in the school system with Education Minister Nancy Allan.

The problem — or increased awareness of it — has reached the stage it became the subject of a workshop sponsored by MAPC in November. The group is contemplating another forum on the issue this fall.

The matter will also be raised this weekend at the Manitoba Association of School Boards annual meeting, where an official from Safe Schools Manitoba will conduct a workshop on respectful communication between trustees, administrators, principals, teachers and students.

Cameron said adult bullying can take many forms, from confrontations between parents and school officials, to the alienation of certain parents and online browbeating and intimidation.

“I’ve been harassed by adult bullies as the president of MAPC,” Cameron said. “I’ve had people go on my Facebook page, comment on a post I made about my daughter and send a complaint letter to the minister of education on it.”

Allan, who was at Pinkham Community School on Thursday to announce more supports to help parents deal with child bullying, acknowledged adult bullying exists within the education system.

“We don’t believe it’s widespread, but we know there are situations like that,” the minister said, adding she hopes a respectful environment can be created for both students and adults.

Dr. Mary Hall, an expert on bullying and bully prevention who will be conducting the workshop at the school boards association convention in Winnipeg this weekend, said it’s only in recent years society has started to acknowledge adult bullying occurs.

“I’ve talked to people in business and all kinds of workplaces, and almost everyone has a story of someone in their workplace who’s a bully,” she said Thursday.

All adults need to be positive role models, she said. “If we want children to be caring and respectful to one another, then we have to do the same.”

Paul Olson, president of the Manitoba Teachers’ Society, said 94 per cent of teachers reported dealing with angry, abusive or bullying parents at some point in their careers.

Olson said one of the good things about the debate over Bill 18, the province’s anti-bullying bill, is it focuses public attention to the issue of bullying. “There’s a lot of emotion and drama, but it is a really healthy conversation.”

Winnipeg Free Press - Adults face bullying in schools

Education Minister Nancy Allan announced Thursday that more money is being put into Safe Schools Manitoba, a program that offers workshops and resources for parents, teachers and students on all aspects of bullying — such as how to approach a school about a bullying concern or where to get help for a child who is a victim of bullying.

“Bullying and harassing behaviour in schools cannot be tolerated and we feel strongly that Manitoba Education is putting into place processes that will address this ongoing concern for our members,” said Manitoba Association of Parent Councils (MAPC) president Judith Cameron.

The government is directing more than $116,000 to Safe Schools Manitoba in 2013-14. Some of the funding will go towards the creation of brochures and fact sheets and an online website.

“Parents are a key partner in our work to make schools safe, caring and accepting places for all students,” Allan said.

“We are providing additional resources to give parents the tools they need to recognize the signs of bullying, to talk to their children about it and support them in working with students and educators to stop it.”

CBC - Manitoba injects more funds into combating bullies

Youth sports can be an environment ripe for bullying.

“Some kids literally try to intimidate other kids because there’s such high pressure to make the team, to be first string,” said Craig Sigle, a Seattle-based youth sports mental toughness trainer.

“They learn they can out-compete somebody else if they can destroy another kid’s confidence.”

Sigle spends his time working with kids to recover from the effects of bullying, but in order to stop it all together, it’s up to the coaches, he said.

“Coaches have a lot of power and … they should use it,” said Sigle. “Good coaches will have meetings before the season and spell it all out to the kids and the parents what the expectations are.

“Youth soccer coaches need to know this, be on top of this, monitor this and enforce that it’s not going to happen.”

Most Lower Mainland clubs seem to adopt this zero-tolerance approach.

“We cascade this message through our coaches,” said Surrey United technical director Jeff Clarke.

“If someone crosses the line, we can kick them out of the club … we hold the ultimate hammer and we don’t want it to ever get to that … but we have to protect all the members of the soccer community.”

But when clubs have kids of various skill level, it’s almost inevitable.

If Marpole Soccer Club’s technical director, Dino Anastopulos, encounters bullying with his players, when he intervenes, it all comes down to one question: “Why do they play team sports then?”

“If you are teammates, you are the ones that must and have to help the weaker players — that is then what bonds and forms a team,” he said. “How can you function as a team if you (bully)?

“As officials, coaches, managers, you must take a hold of it if there’s knowledge of it.”

But in this day and age, it can be difficult.

“It happens behind the scenes, in social media,” said Clarke. “Outside of a parent’s eyesight.”

So Surrey United has extended their zero-tolerance approach to the online realm.

“We just don’t want players commenting, passing their opinions on social media about players — they don’t have the credibility to say if someone plays well or not — you’re a developing kid yourself,” said Clarke.

The social media site also seems to extend the heckling from the game environment for the worse.

“I’m worried because (our zero-tolerance policy) is going to have to get more detailed,” said Clarke.

And the policy isn’t only directed at players.

“There were a couple of parents on there that were talking about other parent groups, so then we broadened it to all members, not just players,” said Clarke.

And there’s even instances where coaches have taken to Twitter to voice unsolicited opinions.

“We can’t have this happening,” he said.

So for Surrey United, there’s no retaliation or comments on social media.

“You’re not allowed to stir up any controversy,” said Clarke. “I want us to be humble and less is more when it comes to what we say … let’s let our feet do the talking.”

And if it does happen, Anastopulos believes coaches can read the signs by just getting to know their players.

YOUR TWO CENTS

Something has to be done! We’ve seen too many children have similar stories end tragically. Harassment is criminal. Let the school’s RCMP liaison know what is going on.

Jeff, Coquitlam

Your daughter is telling you what she needs to feel safe. Listen to what she’s telling you – at 17 it’s her call.

Marika, Burnaby

Your daughter is moving into a new phase in her life – hopefully one that does not involve any bullying. Talk to her about everything she has to look forward to after graduation – keep the door open to attending, but don’t force it. Skipping it may be her first significant step into adulthood.

Maria, Vancouver

MICHELE KAMBOLIS SAYS

With the explosion of anti-bullying awareness campaigns, it’s shocking to find that one out of four kids are still the target of bullying. And when it’s your own child that falls victim it’s downright heartbreaking. While educational programs have made headway, school systems are grappling with a lack of power in addressing the problem, mainly because most incidents of bullying are not actually illegal. Organizations like BullyingCanada.ca are lobbying to pass legislation to reform laws allowing educators to deal with bullying more harshly, but progress is slow. In the meantime, you’re in a position to be a powerful support and advocate to your daughter – if she wants it. It may be that your daughter needs to reclaim the power she’s lost by being in control of how this situation is handled, even if that means boycotting her graduation. While it’s difficult for you to stand by passively, she may feel safer contending with the issue after she’s survived her final school year. Until then, let her know you’ll support whatever approach she chooses and help her see there are many avenues to safely take a stand; speaking with the school liaison officer, school board member or school counsellor may help ensure her voice is heard.

Vancouver Sun - Bullying dissuades teen from attending graduation

Bazelon, a mother of two sons, describes how vividly bullying shapes our formative memories. With powerfully thorough, throat-lump-inducing reportage, she tracks the stories of two young victims and another teenager who faced criminal charges following the suicide of Phoebe Prince, a student bullied in Massachusetts. Through their stories, Bazelon reminds adults about the cruelty with which bullies home in on the weak – for transgressions as simple as a haircut and as complex as a burgeoning sexuality. She also offers parents and schools reams of resources. Here, Bazelon dispels some of the biggest misconceptions about victims and their tormentors.

Most kids aren’t bullies

Bazelon estimates that just 10 to 25 per cent of kids are involved in bullying, and that number includes victims, perpetrators and those who alternate between the two roles. “They’re a minority,” she said. This point is key to prevention: If you’re able to show students that bullying is outlier behaviour, they are less likely to do it. It’s a process known as social norming. “One thing that you can do as a school is to take a survey of kids and then put up posters that say ‘90 per cent of the kids here don’t deliberately exclude other kids from the lunch table.’”

The three types of bullies

There are several breeds of bullies, all situated differently on the school social ladder. “One kind of bully is popular, manipulative and often hard for adults to suss out,” said Bazelon. These tormentors understand the effect they have on the emotions of others, and “they use that.” It’s the quintessential “mean girl,” although these antagonists can certainly be boys. Another group of bullies are thuggish – “the old idea of the boy who steals your money,” she said. “That child is still with us but there are fewer of them because we’ve gotten much more intolerant of violence in school. Kids aren’t beaten up to the degree that they used to be.” The final and most worrisome category is the bully-victim who alternates between roles and tends to suffer from the most serious psychological problems. “They are often the kids who do the ‘dirty work’ for the more popular kids because they’re trying so hard to find some social acceptance. For them it’s a desperate call for help – social awkwardness played out in lashing out at other kids, which really backfires.”

Bullying has a purpose

“Kids often bully because they stand to gain by it in terms of social status. Maybe they’re after a laugh from another kid they want to impress, or induction into a clique; maybe they want to publicly distance themselves from a friend they sense is now seen as a loser,” Bazelon writes in the book. She describes the work of University of California, Davis sociologist Robert Faris, who mapped out the social networks at several high schools and found that kids who were attacking the reputation of others were moving up socially, especially if they gossiped or picked on someone close to them in the social hierarchy, a purported rival. “This is rational behaviour. It’s not good behaviour, but these kids they’re trying to get ahead, essentially,” said Bazelon. “Once you understand that, instead of being outraged you can start dismantling the environment they’re in that is conducive to this bad behaviour.”

The omnipresent bully

Cellphones and the Internet have changed the landscape for both victims and harassers, with bullying now unbound by the school-yard fence: “For kids who are targets, it means that instead of getting a break when you get home from school, you’re likely to feel – probably correctly – that people are still talking about you online,” said Bazelon. For bullies, the Web presents negative consequences too: “You can write something very thoughtlessly, push send and you’ve created this permanent record in front of a very large audience that feels very wounding to the recipient – maybe more than you intended.”

Not all aggression is harmful

Scandinavian psychologist Dan Olweus created the standard academic definition of bullying in 1969: verbal or physical aggression that occurs repeatedly and involves a power differential. That’s different from “drama,” the back-and-forth conflict most teens engage in, and bullies are different than rivals and adversaries. “It’s important for adults to tease out what’s really happening. The word bully is very stigmatizing so you want to make sure that you really have reason to use it,” said Bazelon. “We need some aggression in the universe, it’s a galvanizing force that pushes some people out the door in the morning.”

Bullying doesn’t create resilience

“Adversity,” “resilience” and “grit”: They’re all buzzwords in the current parenting canon, with authors like Paul Tough (How Children Succeed: Grit, Curiosity and the Hidden Power of Character) arguing that childhood hardship paves the way to success later in life. But Bazelon insists there’s a line: “Kids need independence, they need to fail and they need room to grow. They don’t need to be bullied, though. You can allow for a lot of conflict between teenagers without accepting bullying, a chronic, concerted cruelty. There’s really no upside from it.”

Globe & Mail - The 6 biggest myth about bullying that parents and teachers should know