PinkShirtDay.ca

Let’s get in before the bullying starts. If that sounds obvious, I’m not talking about just educating children about the damage that bullying causes — although those teachings have much merit. Rather, I’m suggesting we educate children on the very basics of human relationships — the stage before thoughts of aggression and conflict and separation develop into bullying.

Because where and when does bullying begin? How does a child reach the point that they become a bully? Could the things our caregivers say and do, while well-intentioned, set the stage for bullying behavior to later surface? Child psychology has emerged in the last few generations to offer some answers, yet social cruelty among adolescents is increasing. Blame is laid at the door of home life, media, video games, peers, etc. The average American child witnesses 8,000 murders on television before they finish elementary school. Other sources say it reaches 16,000 by the time they graduate high school. We cannot control the home life, cultures, friends, media influence of the children in our school systems. Everyone has a different story, and everyone’s story is complex. Pointing fingers does not resolve anything.

Let’s ask this question: Why do adults bully to a much lesser extent? Have you ever had a friend call you in the morning and say, “I know who I’m going to hurt today”? Yet some of our teenagers are waking with up with a vengeance. Teens resort to bullying because it is a strategy that they believe will meet their needs: social acceptance, self-confidence, respect and security. As many adults remember from their own school days, peers often reward one another’s verbal and physical aggression with increased social status and acceptance. Students who have already been victimized by bullies may resort to similar strategies to regain their sense of self-confidence — thus, a vicious cycle.

Most adults, however, while wanting acceptance, social status and self-confidence generally have different, and more socially acceptable, means for getting these needs met. Adults have opportunities to develop greater understanding of why they have their feelings and recognize the consequences of TV violence. They have more access to books, courses, and materials that help them navigate trying situations, all of which they did not have in school. Over the years we have learned that hurting others has consequences, sometimes dire. If our children can be encouraged from an early age to communicate clearly about what’s really going on for them, then they can make better choices — where better to do this but where they spend most of their day, in schools?

Bullying and other forms of social cruelty in high schools will not end just with anti-bullying campaigns. In order to change a culture of bullying and aggression, schools must implement teachings that provide an alternative. Bullying prevention begins with encouraging students to talk about their feelings in a language that is safe and helpful. Social skills will not come from an occasional assembly or after a bullying case has gained public attention. Social and emotional education should become a learned vocabulary in day-to-day life.

We’ve found through our work in New York City high schools that encouraging students to communicate their feelings respectfully is not as challenging as it might seem. Students want to talk about relationships. In our classes, students write essays, journal entries, poems and self-evaluations about the subject. Having a space to discuss relationships takes this complex issue into the realm of honest discussion and awareness. One of the questions we ask students at the beginning of our course is how they would feel if made fun of by a friend in front of their peers. Many students are unable to articulate their feelings at first, saying they would “brush it off” or even “hit someone.” After a few classes, however, they are able to describe their feelings more clearly as they become empowered with healthy alternatives. In a safe environment where students are encouraged to discuss their emotions and needs, aggression naturally decreases as students are better able to understand themselves and empathize with others.

The majority of schools across the country have not yet prioritized social and emotional learning or are compelled to allocate budgets elsewhere. Without emphasizing social and emotional learning, schools send the message that these skills are not necessary to academic and personal success. As a result, too many students resort to aggression as the expedient strategy to meeting their needs.

A proactive, preventative approach may sound more costly than media attention and celebrity endorsements toward anti-bullying campaigns, but a strategy based on long-term prevention will never be a waste of money.

Huffington Post – Bullying: Why Social and Emotional Learning in Schools Is Paramount to Prevention

With all the publicity surrounding the film Bully, which opens in Vancouver theatres next week, I was spurred to share my bullying story with Vancouver Sun readers.

The particulars were different than those in the film, which document peer-to-peer bullying. My bully was a teacher. However, it quickly became clear I wasn’t alone. Here are excerpts from some of your responses:

It stuns me that more of us haven’t spoken up about what happened when we were children. You and I know we’ll never forget. It will haunt us for the rest of our lives.

More of us need to speak up about how much we suffered, what was done to us, how our self-esteem was destroyed, how much of our lives were wasted regaining our self-worth, how some of our major life decisions were adversely affected, and how that little child in us will always, in some ways, see him- or herself the way our bullies did.

Bullying must stop. All of us — parents, teachers, those who are bullied, and those who bully have a responsibility to make it stop. Speak up. Get help. To hell with “It Gets Better.” “Make it Better” now.

Rick Modien, Vancouver

Being a year younger than my classmates and also the smallest was an invitation to all kinds of harassment. In an overcrowded classroom there was a constant horror of being singled out as stupid and useless and a disgrace to the human race. Having a neighbour who thought that beating up on me was a retaliation for being beaten up by her Dad was painful and hard to endure.

I did not commit suicide. I talked to my Mother. I believed her when she told me that I was smart. I believed her when she gave me a stick with which to hit back at my tormentor.

We all face bullies at various stages in our life. They will not disappear because there is a law against them. They will disappear when we teach our children self-confidence and the courage to stand tall and face up to whatever comes at them.

Edie Williams, Surrey

I am a 48-year-old woman with a grad school education, still haunted by a teacher who bullied me in Grades 2 and 3.

At that time, neither I nor my classmates understood what was taking place, and I was too young to articulate what was happening, at home or school. I had daily stomach aches each weekday morning before school and often expressed my desire to avoid attending school.

My mother finally approached the teacher early in Grade 3. The teacher lied and covered up her behaviour. She implied that I was just being too sensitive. Her bullying of me only escalated after that conversation. I too felt utterly powerless and afraid. It was the beginning of a long struggle with low self-esteem.

Sandra (last name withheld on request), Vancouver

I grew up in Germany and was 10 years old when the war ended, Due to us fleeing from the advancing Russian Army, I was shifted around from different schools. I was always behind, and I had a terrible time with fractions.

I was a semi-orphan. My mother was taken to Siberia, and spent 11 years in a labour camp.

One teacher always drew attention to me because I cried a lot. Not having a mother at 10 years old was hard. I shall never forget, we had our class picture taken, and as he handed out the pictures, his comment was, to the class: “Even stupid Kraushaar looks good in the picture.”

Ronald Kraushaar, Aldergrove

I had a [bullying] experience with a Grade 9 teacher. She constantly belittled me, told me I was stupid, not university material. Held my work up for ridicule. All a crock. I have several degrees and never doubted my abilities in any way.

I came to realize what a devastating impact childhood abuse can have. It was enough to haunt me. It gave me a sense of what damage is done and how hard it must be for victims of terrible abuse to cope.

Read more: http://www.vancouversun.com/Vancouver+readers+Bully+stories/6423197/story.html#ixzz1rZJm9A6G

Vancouver Sun – Vancouver Sun readers’ ‘Bully’ stories

Weyburn’s young people recently participated in a history-making event that has become a new Canadian tradition. Joining together to create a sea of pink shirts on April 3, approximately 1,200 of Weyburn’s school children gathered on Prairie Avenue and Third Street to march in a parade to raise awareness about bullying.
Pink Shirt Day began in 2007, when two Grade 12 students at a high school in Nova Scotia rounded up their friends to show support for a Grade 9 boy who had been bullied by some older kids for wearing a pink polo shirt. They organized a stand against the bullies by communicating with their peers and the next day, nearly 300 students wore pink. They effectively silenced the bullies.
Last year, Weyburn began its first walk for the Pink Revolution Anti-Bullying Week, which was officially declared for March 30 to April 5 of this year.
Pink Shirt Day is co-ordinated through the Canadian Red Cross and is supported by the Ministry of Education and by the Government of Saskatchewan.
“These events are opportunities for communities and individuals to come together for one common goal: to celebrate diversity and to stand against discrimination,” Education Minister Donna Harpauer said. “The Government of Saskatchewan believes that all students have the right to a caring, respectful and safe school environment where bullying is not tolerated.”
Weyburn’s Mayor Debra Button and City Manager Robert Smith walked ahead of the multitude of future leaders and their teachers, administrators and parents. The Family Place and Colour My World Day Care also brought a number of children to join in the march.
Weyburn’s students of all ages have been learning about identifying bullying and are becoming equipped with strategies to help both victims of bullying as well as bystanders. Many of Weyburn’s teachers had their students do assignments related to bullying awareness.
Joanne Thomson, administrator at Queen Elizabeth school, noted that student behaviour guidelines are printed in the school handbook every year, which include and stress the concepts of respect, responsibility, self-control and compassion.
According to Norman Casavant, Assistant Director of Education for the Holy Family School Division, it is most important to prevent bullying by embedding skills that students need such as self-esteem, leadership, communication, conflict management, empathy, etc., within the classroom setting.
“The goal is to give students skills at an early age that will help them do the right thing given any situation,” said Casavant.
“There are instances where prevention isn’t an option and cases of bullying do occur. In those instances, the primary importance is strong communication between the child, parent and school,” Casavant added. “I urge parents to have immediate and frequent communication with the school if they feel their child is being bullied in any way.”
“Education is a partnership,” he said.
Brian Trainor, a retired detective from the Saskatoon City Police Service, spoke to Weyburn students this March about Cyber-bullying. Cyber-bullying is the repeated, intentional harmful or threatening misuse of interactive technology to harass and bully someone.
“Bullying is about power,” said Trainor. “It’s about a power imbalance between two persons. Cyber-bullying carries this problem one step further by including anonymity and the involvement of a potentially large audience, larger than a school yard bullying incident.”
“Cyberbullying can be nonstop. It is 24-7. Home is no longer safe,” he said, adding that the majority of cyber-bullying occurs over texting and that the majority of texting abuse is sexual harassment.
All forms of bullying can cause fear, anxiety, mental distress, depression and ultimately Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD). Combined with one of the many forms of mental health issues such as depression, bullying can contribute to suicide.
According to Trainor, the responsibility always belongs to the parents, who need to stay tuned in to their children.
“You as a parent need to be on top of what is being said to your kids on Facebook, if you want to protect them,” said Trainor, adding that the legal age for using Facebook is thirteen.
He also added that teachers need to pay attention to the relationships among their students.
“Our teachers need to be hyper-vigilant about abuse in interpersonal relationships within the school,” he said. “They need to know their students. Know their likes and dislikes and what they find interesting, as well as their moods and temperaments. Any change in these should be noted, and the parents need to be brought into the discussion.”
Trainor also said that children need to learn to report bullying and/or cyber-bullying to their parents, teachers, or an adult they trust.
“They can’t manage this problem themselves,” he said. “It is too vast and they are too close to the situation to think objectively.”
Sergeant Trainor suggests ways of dealing with cyber-bullying by first blocking the sender and reporting the matter to the internet service provider. Be sure to keep all of the harassing messages because they are evidence. Never respond to the messages, always tell an adult and call the police if the messages are threatening.
The Kids Help Phone line (1-800-668-6868) ensures that the youth across Saskatchewan have access to professional counselling services 24 hours a day, seven days a week.
Pink Shirt Day has officially become an annual tradition in Weyburn. Ask any student from playschool to Grade 12, Weyburn children know how to handle bullies.

My Sask – Weyburn continues tradition of acceptance

School students and people from the community donned pink t-shirts, and toted signs, placards and banners, as they took up the fight against bullying on April 4, which is the Canadian Red Cross’ Pink Shirt Day.

The walk was brief – only two blocks in each direction through the 1100 and 1200 block of Fourth Street – but the turnout was enormous. Well over 1,000 people participated in the event, which was the first-ever Pink Shirt Day walk in Estevan.

Becky Tuchscherer, one of the students services counselors with the Holy Family Roman Catholic Separate School Division, said that the response to the walk in Estevan surpassed her expectations.

“For the first time in Estevan, this is unbelievable,” said Tuchscherer.

Students and staff from five schools – St. Mary’s School, Sacred Heart School, Hillcrest School, Westview School and the Estevan Comprehensive School – were involved in the walk. People from the community joined the students.

The pink-clad crowd was so large that it occupied multiple lanes of Fourth Street, and it stretched for more than a block. A white vehicle with pink “Bullying Stops Here” logos led the parade; upbeat music blared from its speakers.

Tuchscherer said she hopes that the Pink Shirt Day parade taught the students that the community is standing behind them.

“It takes everybody to do their part,” Tuchscherer said.

The music that was played had clear messages that people need to stand up to bullies, and to have a positive self-image, she said.

George Barker from the Canadian Red Cross felt that the walk conveyed a message of respect for all, which is an idea that the Red Cross wants students to hear.

“Changing people is part of the education process, but a person can only change if a person decides to change,” said Barker. “I can’t change anybody, but I can give them a message that would help them to change, and I believe we get that message out very clearly and very distinctly through our schools, our communities and even in our workplaces.”

Barker said the Red Cross has a Respect Ed. Program that challenges abusive and violent behaviour in all forms.

“Bullying comes into one of those forms,” said Barker. “It can be violent, whether it be through the words that you use, or the hitting, or the fights, or whether it’s the cyber-bullying, which causes a lot of other issues.”

Schools in Estevan found other ways to support Pink Shirt Day. Many of them had assemblies in the morning of April 4. Students vowed that they would do everything they could to stop bullying.

Each school used various means, such as a video, skits and speeches, to convey the message that bullying would not be tolerated, and that schools in Estevan should be a place where children can feel safe.

Pleasantdale vice-principal Michelle Smart said during Pleasantdale’s assembly that students can stop bullying by not acting like bystanders.

“Help each other out, and report when people are in trouble,” said Smart. “At Pleasantdale School this year, we’re going to try to ‘Stomp out Bullying.’ That’s our theme for today.”

Pleasantdale students promoted that theme by writing down ideas to stop bullying on paper shoes. Then they attached those shoes to a pink poster, leaving the school with a litany of suggestions for how bullying can be prevented.

Tuchscherer attended assemblies at St. Mary’s and Sacred Heart on April 4, and she was very pleased with the response.

“The kids were all excited, and dressed in pink,” said Tuchscherer. “Shannon (student services counselor Shannon Culy) and I were in Weyburn yesterday (April 3) and Wilcox on Monday (April 2), so we shared with Estevan students how the walks have gone in other communities, and the kids were pumped and ready to go.”

Barker and Tuchscherer said they were encouraged to see that students showed a willingness to stand up to bullying during the assemblies.

Sask Lifestyles – A sea of pink in a march against bullies

We all want to protect our children from bullying. Most parents, I imagine, would be horrified to hear that their children are being picked on at school, and equally horrified to hear that their child is doing the bullying. (Right now my clairvoyance tells me that you are thinking that you have a really nice kid, certainly not one that is a bully. This is because you are a nice person.)

But can bad kids ever happen to nice parents? Or rather, do parents who value kindness and compassion ever raise mean kids?

I think it probably happens all the time. An estimated thirteen million kids will be bullied in the U.S. this year. Three million are absent from school each month because they feel unsafe there. Bullies aren’t necessarily “bad kids,” but clearly the bullying behavior of otherwise good kids adds up to a massive problem in our communities.

Bullying occurs — online and in person — when there is an imbalance of power. Bullies intend to harm others physically or emotionally, usually repeatedly, knowing that their victims may have a hard time defending themselves. (Thanks to The Bully Project for this definition.)

As parents, it is our responsibility to do what we can to make sure that our children aren’t bullies (besides hide behind our pure intentions and upstanding values). The good news is that we can consciously raise kids who are more likely to stand up for a victim of bullying than they are to be perpetrators. Here are five things we can teach our children so that they are kind and compassionate:

(1) How their actions affect others. Bullies tend to know that what they are doing is wrong, but they usually don’t understand how their behavior affects others. Truly understanding that meanness can hurt someone for a lifetime can change a bully’s willingness to harm others. Build empathy by watching videos of children hurt by bullying (a new documentary out this week, Bully, promises to be a good start). And let kids experience how their actions can affect others for the good by giving them opportunities to help others.

(2) How to understand their own emotions and feelings. Before a child can really understand his or her influence on other people’s feelings, they need to be able to understand their own emotions. Build this emotional intelligence by emotion coaching them.

(3) How to express negative feelings like anger, powerlessness, and stress without hurting others. Kids need to learn the difference between feeling bad (which is always okay) and behaving badly (not okay). Parents are powerful models in this arena. When you are angry with your children or spouse do you call them names? Spank? When you are stressed are you likely to yell? Kids need to be taught directly how to deal with feelings like anger (e.g., to calm themselves down by taking a walk or deep breaths, or by petting the dog). They also need to be taught that indirectly, by observing us doing these things.

(4) Teach kids how to feel powerful within their relationships — in a positive way. Bullying can come from a sense of powerlessness, and it can often be prevented by showing kids how to feel powerful without being mean. Kids feel powerful when they contribute to something larger than themselves, so make sure your children have plenty of opportunities to genuinely help those around them. Giving kids chores and responsibilities around the house or classroom helps them see that they are useful and needed, giving them a sense of power.

(5) Treat others with compassion yourself. This goes without saying, but kids need to see their parents treating other people with empathy and without judgement. Recently I heard a mother comment to her pre-teen daughter, “That girl’s shirt is so trashy. I will never let you wear something like that.” Her daughter replied, “I know, right? It is so ugly.” This dialog, while it might have been intended to instruct, endorsed a mean-spiritedness towards others.

Can we prevent our children from being bullies? I think so. It starts with the obvious: being really clear about our expectations for how they will treat others, including their siblings, their classmates and that chubby kid on the bus. But we can’t stop there. Raising kind kids requires an active effort to teach them the social skills they need to be powerful in their relationships–without hurting others.

So the next time you hear someone say “boys will be boys” or you shake your head and wonder why “there are mean girls in every class,” don’t lie to yourself. Kids are not typically “cruel at this age,” (whatever age that might be). Don’t make excuses for bad behavior: teach kindness instead.

There is so much beyond these five things that we parents can do. Dozens of suggestions can be found in this toolkit for parents from The Bully Project.

Huffington Post – Bullying: Is Your Kid Mean?

REGINA — Savanna Smythe-McArthur never imagined she would be the one standing up for someone being bullied. Starting in Grade 5, the now 13-year-old was tripped in the hallways and teased in class — events she dealt with by bullying others, she said. When she saw a boy being picked on at school in January, Savanna found herself in the middle breaking it up.

“I always thought I would be the really shy girl who wouldn’t stand up,” she said. “In the process, yes, I was pushed around, but I ended up stopping it anyways. It just made me feel I did something right.”

Her personal experience with bullying has given her the confidence to take a stand against it.

And on Monday, she and 46 other M.J. Coldwell Elementary School students sat in the gallery as the provincial government also took a stand by formally designating this week Pink Revolution Anti-bullying Week.

In schools and businesses today, thousands of people are celebrating Pink Shirt Day, an annual event spearheaded in this province by the Canadian Red Cross. As of Tuesday, the agency had sold over 12,000 pink shirts and 4,000 stickers. Pink Shirt Day began after two Nova Scotia male students in 2007 showed up to school wearing pink the day after their friend had been bullied for donning the same colour.

Norm Jakubowski, provincial manager for the Canadian Red Cross’ anti-bullying program RespectED, said the colour has now come to represent a collective anti-bullying awareness. Students are the optimal group to lead that charge, he added.

“I think in a micro kind of way, the colour pink makes a stand against homophobic bullying,” he explained. “In a macro way, I truly believe that the colour pink now represents respect for relationships among our youth … and I think it’s regardless of race, colour, gender, sexual orientation”.

M.J. Coldwell and other schools across Regina take that notion seriously, forming clubs and completing projects that promote acceptance. For Pink Shirt Day, the Red Cross encourages school assemblies, writing assignments and other multimedia tasks for children to complete together.

For Leatha Bird, M.J. Coldwell’s RespectED co-ordinator and Grade 7/8 teacher, Monday’s field trip to the legislature showed her that the school’s anti-bullying message is getting through to the students.

“It was great to see them come to that point in their lives where they are standing as young adults. They’re not kids anymore; they’re young adults and they understood why they were there and the purpose of representing their school,” Bird said. “They understand the importance of making this a public statement.”

Savanna wouldn’t have it any other way, she said, adding that bullying simply shouldn’t exist.

“I just don’t want people to go down the road I went,” she explained. “I just want people to know that when we’re wearing our pink shirts, we’re telling all kids that if you’re bullied, you’re not alone. You’re not the only ones out there.”

Read more: http://www.leaderpost.com/life/Thousands+pink+shirts+stand+against+bullying/6410531/story.html#ixzz1r8DDuRh6

Leader Post – Thousands don pink shirts in stand against bullying

A little while back I had a chance to watch storyteller and author Ivan E. Coyote perform in Saskatoon.

Coyote was one of the most amazing speakers I have ever heard.

Coyote spoke about bullying, particularly in highschools. The title of the speech was “As Good As We Can Make It: On bullying, collective responsibility and actually making it better”.

Although I usually don’t like talking about it, I hated high school because I was one of the kids that got bullied quite a bit.

I don’t want to say why I was bullied because it doesn’t really matter what the reason was. There were other students that got bullied for a variety of reasons: being too tall, being too short, hitting puberty too early, hitting puberty too late, liking country music, liking rap. You get my point. There are always reasons for students to be bugged.

If it weren’t for being bullied, though, I doubt I would have become a journalist.

I’ve always loved to read but my fondness for the written word developed to a far greater extent when I was in high school. Reading, and by extension writing, helped me.

I developed a love of the written word and knowledge, which became two of the best things I developed that benefit my work as a reporter.

There is the Pink Shirt Day anti-bullying campaign that also takes place.

I think such campaigns are important because it helps remind people that, yes, bullying exists and we need to recognize it.

But we don’t just need to recognize, we need to help end it.

I know it’s easy for me to sit here at my computer typing out the words: it gets better. But, as I said, words were the thing that helped save me when I wasn’t having a good experience in my high school career.

It can be difficult to directly step in when bullying happens since, I think, bullying can take many forms. It’s not necessarily a fist fight on the playground or insults verbalized in the classroom.

Like the movement Dan Savage has created, It Gets Better.

Melfort Journal – Anti-bullying campaigns need actions to support the message

Parents’ efforts to help son rewarded — eventually

OTTAWA — For the last two months, Steve Ratte has been a very worried father as his diminutive seven-year-old son was repeatedly bullied by three other Grade 1 students at an elementary school in Orléans.

Just last October, the boy’s parents removed him from a French Catholic school, because of bullying concerns, and placed him in his present school under the French public board. Ratte says he and his wife were concerned with the Catholic school’s attitude “that boys will be boys” whenever his son got hurt.

Ratte says everything was going well at the new school until late January when the three boys attacked his son during recess. Since then, there have been at least two other incidents. To add to the parents’ fears, Ratte found out two of the three boys were on the same morning school bus run with his son. Ratte says his son, who had been asking for some time for a drive to school, was being verbally and physically abused on the bus on a regular basis.

“I never clued in,” says Ratte of his son’s requests for a drive to school. “I said: ‘No, I have to get to work.’ ”

The father let the school know last Monday about the bus abuse. To Ratte, those incidents just added to his suspicion the school was mishandling the situation. It knew about the other attacks and had repeatedly assured him it was dealing with the matter.

In the first incident, in late January, the three wanted his son’s gloves to use them as goal markers for a soccer game at recess. When he refused, says his father, “they attacked him, pushed him, kicked him, punched him, and then threw him on the ground and started to choke him.”

His son then tried to befriend the boys during another recess — “presumably to get them to stop” bullying him, Ratte says. Instead the trio gave him another beating.

“That really affected him.” the father says. “He barely ate for two days, would fall asleep (before six) each night. He was just so withdrawn, and, then, he finally told us.”

Ten days ago, the boy was chased until he was caught and then repeatedly punched in the face. Ratte says he spoke to the principal after she met with the three boys following that incident. He says the trio told the principal that they bullied his son “because they enjoyed it.”

Though Ratte says the principal was genuinely concerned by what the three told her, Ratte says their revelation convinced him the school had not moved quickly enough. He was also upset that Ontario’s Education Act and the Freedom of Information and Protection of Privacy Act did not allow the school to answer his queries.

How were the three being punished, he demanded to know. He even asked to be put in touch with the parents of the three pupils so he could express his concerns to them. But nothing happened. It seemed to Ratte that the rules protected the bullies and not the victims.

On March 22, the day of the third attack, Ratte emailed the Citizen. “The parents of the bullies are told why their child is being punished and are given full disclosure of what happened. The parents of the child who is at home, scared of going to school, not eating, having trouble sleeping and consequently doing poorly in school are left in the dark and wondering if the schools actually care.”

The email was sent my way to see if there was a story to tell.

On Tuesday, the boy’s mother contacted board superintendent Martin Bertrand. He assured her that a number of steps to resolve the matter had already been taken by the school, and that the board was now intervening with a long-term plan.

“Our approach has always been to prevent (bullying),” Bertrand said in an interview with The Public Citizen.

“But also we want to deal with the aggressors based on what we can prove was actually going on. … Our goal is to make them be accountable for their actions … (and) to avoid any recidivism.”

On Friday, the boy’s three tormentors met with an Ottawa police resource officer and a social worker to discuss what they had done.

Ratte’s son met privately with the officer and social worker.

Eventually, the boy will meet with the other three to discuss what happened and how the bullying affected him. Parents of all four children are involved in the “intervention.”

The three boys have already faced some punishment, including detentions during recess. They’ve also been given assignments on bullying and how that behaviour hurts victims.

“It’s mostly to make sure everybody learns from this situation,” says Jean-François Thibodeau, the board’s vice-principal for safe schools.

Thibodeau says he has been working with the school since he was made aware of the problem late last week.

“Sometimes, the bullies don’t even know what impact they’ve had on the (victim). Once everybody’s aware, usually (the bullying) stops and it’s quite rare you see a kid (bully again).”

Thibodeau says bullying at such a young age “is very rare.”

As far as he knows, bullying involving Grade 1 pupils had never occurred before at that school.

He says children that young are usually involved in “conflicts” — a push or shove, perhaps during playtime, that is quickly forgotten. Bullying, generally seen as repeated attempts to harm an individual, is prevalent between Grades 4 and 9, he says.

Thibodeau says investigations can be hampered because some children who have been bullied do not want to discuss what happened, at least right away. So school authorities have to wait.

Ratte says he felt “100-per-cent better” after meeting Friday with school authorities and the other workers involved.

“I know I ruffled a few feathers, but I did it for my son. … They explained it’s a process that takes time and that ‘we’re working through it.’ I wanted it done right now.”

But he’s still worried that the bullying might have caused irreparable harm. Even though the three boys were not allowed out at recess this past week, all his son did the other day “was walk around by himself,” apparently too timid to go near anyone.

Read more: http://www.ottawacitizen.com/Battling+bullies+takes+patience+persistence+Ottawa+family+finds/6393749/story.html#ixzz1r1p6VYlX

Ottawa Citizen – Battling the bullies takes patience and persistence, Ottawa family finds

Composite High students band against bullying

“Every year in this country 300 kids take their own lives. It is a mind-boggling number,” Rick Mercer’s Oct. 26, 2011 rant begins.

“It’s no longer good enough for us to tell kids that it gets better. We have to make it better now. That’s every single one of us; every teacher, every student, every adult has to step up to the plate … 300 kids is 300 too many.”

Bullying is on the minds of many with the pending release of Bully, a documentary directed by Lee Hirsch following teens and families in Texas, Mississippi, Georgia, Iowa and Oklahoma, focusing on the suicides of teenagers Tyler Long and Ty Smalley.

Now, staff at Composite High School are taking matters into their own hands, holding an anti-bullying day Wednesday.

“We do an annual survey, it’s done twice a year. We did one in the fall and we’re going to follow up and do one a little bit later in the spring,” said Graham Abbott, principal of Composite, explaining that the survey questions students on bullying and other behavioural activities in the school. “We are in the process of bringing in a school-wide positive behavioural support program.”

Abbott says that as part of the program, the Composite staff and administration decided to hold an anti-bullying day.

At the assembly, which began with anti-bullying skits by some of the school’s drama students, vice-principal Waleed Najmeddine discussed the survey’s results with the students. According to the survey which was filled out by students, 30% of students say they encounter verbal or physical abuse on a weekly basis; 9% on a daily basis.

Approximately 20% of students reported physical abuse on a weekly basis, and 5% said it happened every day.

Students say the various abuses generally take place after school or during breaks, with 25% reporting it happens in the hallways and 28% saying it happens outside but on school grounds, citing appearance and grades — both higher and lower than the average student — as the leading causes for harassment.

“We can minimize (bullying) and do our best to make this place better,” said Najmeddine to the students during the assembly. “This school belongs to all of us … so it’s up to you to do something about it. You have the ability to make this the best school there ever was.”

“This is not the end of it. We’re going to continue dealing with bullying. It’s part of the bigger picture. We’re working on tweaking and building a better and more positive school culture,” said Abbott.

A recent appearance in town by Bill Belsey, founder and president of bullying.org, has shone a local light on a global issue which continues to make headlines through mention by celebrities on talk shows and campaigns like Pink Shirt Day and the lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender-geared It Gets Better Project.

Canadian Mental Health Association statistics say suicide accounts for 24% of deaths in people between the ages of 15 and 24.

Suicide is the second leading cause of death for 10 to 24 year olds and men are four times more likely to commit suicide, though women make attempts three to four times more often.

Abbott, who is new to Composite, says they did a similar anti-bullying event last year when he was at Greely Road School, something that inspired Wednesday’s event which concluded with students and staff taking a pledge to stop bullying.

“It’s a pledge that we as a school, as a staff and student body, are going to stand up against bullies and take a stance against bullying,” he explained.

“We put a big white sheet up with the pledge on it in the hallway and kids signed their names to it.”

While bullying is still prevalent in schools and the number of teen suicides continues to climb, websites like stopabully.org give people a way to safely and anonymously report bullies.

Other sites like sixbillionsecrets.com give kids a place to confide in other and be heard by people that care. The posts come in from people of all ages, and while many are heartbreaking, some like one posted Tuesday by Anonymous gives others hope and inspiration.

“For years now, my dad has abused me, sworn at me and used our religion (Islam) as a justification,” they posted. “He’s been doing this since I was about five, making me believe that I’ve got nothing to live for. Three days ago, I got an e-mail from a publisher. In six months, my book will be distributed in bookshops all around the world. I am fourteen.”

Ft McMurray Today – Taking a stand

Kids get bullied. It’s a sad fact for many in the school system. But a Saskatoon initiative is working to change that fact through a week of awareness-raising events.

The Pink Revolution anti-bullying week is March 30 to April 5. During the week, children, teachers and other adult allies are encouraged to wear a pink shirt in support of the anti-bullying message.

Pink Shirt Day has been celebrated in one form or another in cities across Canada since two students, David Shepherd and Travis Price, started it as a protest against a bullying incident. The incident took place at Central Kings Rural High School in Nova Scotia when a new Grade 9 student wore a pink shirt to school and was bullied for it. Shepherd and Price later distributed 50 pink shirts to fellow classmates in protest. Wearing a pink shirt on the last Wednesday in March has become a symbol that the wearer takes a stand against bullying.

Jenna Blahay is the youth coordinator at Saskatoon’s Avenue Community Centre. The centre, along with Youth Launch, Boys and Girls Club, Restorative Action Plan and Affinity Credit Union recently formed a partnership called the Bully Prevention Network. Blahay says their Pink Revolution initiative was inspired by Shepherd and Price’s actions.

“We always say that we didn’t choose pink, pink chose us.” She says pink fosters a misogynistic association for some. Wearing the colour pink turns that idea on its head. “Pink still promotes a lot of femininity and things people perceive to be negative.”

“Among certain segments of society, (wearing pink is) still loaded and can be looked down upon,” adds Stephanie Meyer, marketing and events manager for the Avenue Community Centre.

Staying silent in the face of a bully is perhaps the worst thing a bystander can do. While it’s difficult for other students to take a stance against a bully, if a teacher or other adult knows it’s happening and doesn’t act, it can be extremely harmful. Doing nothing is akin to accepting the bullying.

“We don’t want to put the onus on the bullied kid,” says Meyer.

Blahay encourages adults to make it clear where they stand on bullying — both at home and in the classroom. Even if you don’t think anything it’s going on in your classroom, say that it’s not okay to demean people because of their gender, race, sex, abilities or culture. She says it takes a lot of courage for bullied youth to come forward and if they aren’t sure where an adult stands, they’re less likely to talk to anyone.

“If youth don’t feel safe and comfortable enough to come out about being bullied, then it’s really hard for adult allies to pick up on it. Some youth can be really good at hiding things,” she says.

Encouraging cultural sensitivity can also go a long way in the classroom and at home towards combating bullying. The classmates of a girl from India didn’t want to sit beside her at lunch because they thought her curry dishes were smelly. She begged her mother to send her sandwiches to school instead so she could fit in with the others.

Encouraging sensitivity toward gender and sexual orientation is also important. Words like ‘fag,’ ‘dyke’ and ‘sissy’ are often used to bully others and are demeaning to the queer population and to women.

Bullying has changed with the advent of social media. Cyber bullying takes on a covert form. The abuse is emotional (rather than physical) and sufferers are less likely to tell anyone. Meyer says it’s a double-edged sword because cyber bullying can be an excellent tool for holding people accountable. It’s easier to keep track of and report statements written on Facebook or in a text message. The problem is that it happens outside school time and property, so schools may not have the jurisdiction to intervene. Parents may not always be aware of their children’s digital lives, either.

“It’s deeply wounding in an isolating way. It’s not concrete,” she says.

“I’ve heard some youth say that they would almost rather have had bruises on their face so people would know the pain. Then teachers would have been more reactive because they could see the bruising. Instead, they’re carrying it all inside,” says Blahay.

They both recommend sharing experiences if you’ve been bullied. Tell friends, counsellors, teachers, parents or other adult friends. Call the Avenue Community Centre at 665-1224 or any of the other organizations in the Bully Prevention Network.

While the Avenue Community Centre is known for its work within Saskatoon’s LGBT2Q (lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, two-spirit, queer) community, Meyer says the Pink Revolution is not just about the queer community. Anyone could be bullied, including adults — something the network will be looking at.

“If you’re working in a system where there isn’t diversity, then there’s the pressure to conform. And then there’s the pressure to not stand up for people because you don’t want to be perceived as the outsider,” says Meyer.

SIDEBAR:

Pink Revolution Anti-Bullying Week events in Saskatoon

To find out how to join the Pink Revolution, contact ryan@avenuecommunitycentre.ca or visit www.avenuecommunitycetnre.ca.

March 30 — Pink Prom for queer youth and allies, 7 p.m. at Cosmo Senior Citizen’s Centre

March 30 — Pink Party, 8 p.m. at Diva’s Club

March 31 — Book signing for Spots, Dots … and the Nots?! With Fawn Einarson, 1 p.m. at McNally Robinson

April 1 — Pink Revolution flag raising, 1 p.m. at Saskatoon City Hall

April 3 — A candle-light vigil, 7 p.m. at Grosvenor Park United Church

April 4 — Pink Night, 7 p.m. at 302 Lounge and Discotheque

Read more: http://www.thestarphoenix.com/news/Bullies+pink+treatment/6373187/story.html#ixzz1qY74OvBM

Star Phoenix – Bullies are in for the pink treatment